#the only person he doesnt bite is robin

[taylsart]

excited for season 5 to become a feral boyfriend romcom

[urinarythreatinfection]

Idea popped into my mind, though i've had it in my mind for a while now. Inspired by this one video i saw a while back (can't find it now) of some person who did the same thing to their cats. If i find it later ill quote this with it. Also comment if you want someone else with this. @mere-mortifer this is just a scenario thing but idk if it counts tell me if it doesnt and you just meant one shots.

Thunk

Various x GN!reader. Platonic. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Brook.

Luffy

“Did you have to spill it? Haven’t you gotten instincts for that?” You say, peeved as you clean up Luffy’s spilled juice.

“I don’t have that on all the time.” He says with a huff, begrudgingly grabbing more paper towels for you until he realizes something. “There’s no more.” It’s run out.

“No more?” You look back at him and see the empty paper towel roll, sighing. “Give it here.” He hands it to you and you bonk it on his head softly with a “thunk”.

“Hey!” He rubs the spot you did it, putting on his straw hat for protection.

“Small punishment, we’ll have to do it with a cloth so go get that for me; even if it’ll be a hassle to have to rinse it out.” Luffy pouts, but gets it anyway since he’ll be scolded if he doesn’t.

Zoro

You’re cleaning up Zoro’s workout equipment, he could do it himself but you’re doing it this time since he’s eating a sandwich Sanji made for protein. “You don’t clean these as often as you should.” You tell him while cleaning up the pole for weights.

“I’m the one who uses it the most anyway, if you think it’s gross just don’t use them.” The swordsman says in between bites. You notice you’ve managed to clean them with the last paper towel, pleased but still annoyed at what Zoro said. You walk over to him where he’s sitting and bonk his head with the empty roll. It makes a “thunk” sound. “Empty head.” He scowls.

“I didn’t ask you to do this.” You thunk him again. “Hey!” Thunk "Ugh."

“It’s not that much of a hassle to clean it, think of it as practicing your patience or responsibility. There’s other types of responsibilities that aren’t protection or fighting.”

“Whatever.” He mumbles and you thunk him on the head for the 4th time. “Stop!”

Sanji

“You should really take more breaks.” You say while rinsing out a cloth you were using to clean.

“I’m used to working this much from the Baratie, you have nothing to worry about.” He sits at the counter after you barely convinced him to atleast sit down for a bit.

“You only get 5 hours of sleep each night, that isn’t healthy for you even if you’re used to it.” He’s about to say something when you interrupt him. “Zoro sleeps less during the night but he naps during the day as well, Brook is a skeleton, and Luffy sleeps whenever he wants during the day as well if he’s tired. You do not.” The cook closes his mouth having been corrected. You grab a paper towel to dry off the counter and realize it’s the last one. You walk over to Sanji, who’s looking down at the ground, and bonk him on the head using the empty roll with a “thunk” sound. “I don’t mind you asking me for help if you need it, so use that assistance to rest a bit. I mean it.”

“...Okay..” He mumbles, his gaze still to the ground as he fumbles with his hands like a scolded little kid.

Robin

“I’m usually more careful than this.” Robin says while she makes sure none of the books have gotten wet. “I suppose I was too focused on the text.”

“If it means it was interesting enough then I’m sure the author would be flattered.” You say while cleaning up a drink she had knocked over while reading. Once she’s made sure nothing got wet she puts the books down on her lap. “There’s no point feeling bad about it now.” You manage to clean everything up by the time the paper towels have run out.

“I apologize for making you do this, you seemed focused as wel-” You lightly bonk her on the head with the empty roll, making a “thunk” sound. Her eyes widen as she looks up at you, shocked.

“Lighten up, you’re acting like you’ve forced me. Of course I would do this for you, you’re my friend.” Her eyes are still wide but she eventually smiles.

“Then I’ll thank you instead. Thank you.” You smile back at her when she thanks you.

“You’re welcome.” You bonked the bad thoughts out of her.

Brook

“If I could see your pantie-” Brook gets hit on the head HARD by Nami before she storms off, walking past you as you notice Brook now sitting on the ground rubbing his forehead.

“Hit again? You really don’t learn your lesson, huh?” You say while standing in front of him. “It was hard this time too, I heard it from where I was.”

“She knocked my brains out! Not that I had any to begin with yohoho!” He jokes, though he never really expects Nami to show her panties. It’s more of a habit at this point, something he gained from the past he’s reluctant to let go of.

“More like scrambled since you can still joke.” You’re holding an empty paper towel roll, on the way to throw it out before you heard the commotion. You get an idea and thunk him on the head with it, “To unscramble,” then do it again. “now to bonk those thoughts out.” He looks up at you, presumably processing what happened since you can’t really see an expression. He rubs his head for a second.

“You’ve warmed my heart (Y/n)-san, not that I have one!” His laugh is slightly less loud. “You’re a miracle worker…” He’s silent for a bit, then goes back to normal. “We should see panties to celebra-” Thunk.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! I loved your platonic headcanons for one piece so much! So comforting! If it's no trouble, may I ask the rest of the strawhats too? Only if you're comfortable, of course! 🩷

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I am currently up to episode 451 (Impel Down) of One Piece so please keep that in mind while reading. I hope you like the headcanons!

Platonic headcanons on Usopp and Brook can be found here!

Fandom: One Piece

Characters: Monkey D. Luffy, Roronoa Zoro, Nami, Sanji, Tony Tony Chopper, Nico Robin, Franky, Jinbe x gn! Reader (separate and platonic)

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Thoughts on being friends with the Straw Hat crew.

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I hope you’re an energetic person because with Luffy as your friend, there’s never going to be another peaceful moment. He’s always dragging you and all of the other Straw Hats into an adventure.

Speaking of energy, he’s got a lot to spend so you can expect him to ask you to fight or play with him a lot. The same way he’s always playing with Chopper and Usopp, you’re now included in the mix.

Gives surprisingly good advice at the least expected moments. You could be sitting quietly and suddenly, he’ll run over to you and provide you with a profound and perfect solution to a problem you mentioned to him two days ago.

However, don’t expect him to have good answers for everything. Sometimes, the best he can offer is “maybe you should have something to eat?” And that’s okay, duality is something you learn to expect if you’re friends with Luffy.

I feel like Luffy is the kind of person to share clothes platonically. Not his hat of course (unless it’s a special/rare occasion) but his shorts and vests are up for grabs. He just thinks it’s cool being able to swap clothes with his friends.

Definitely the kind of friend to give you a huge hug after you’ve been apart. Even if it’s just for a couple of hours, you can still count on a tight embrace when you reunite. He just misses his friends when they’re not around.

This guy will give you the most insane presents you’ve ever received. Whether it’s a shiny rock, a marine’s hat, or a bug he picked up, you never know what you’ll be handed next. Best not to ask where he got things from though…

That one friend you can’t take anywhere without being prepared for anything that might happen. A simple dinner? You’re going to have to be prepared to run when no one can pay for the amount he ate. A walk along the beach? Now he’s fighting the seagulls. It’s always an adventure.

Nap buddies. No elaboration needed. If you enjoy taking naps, wherever Zoro is is the best place to be. Luffy usually leaves him alone when he’s resting so that means you’re likely to be left alone as well.

He’s also the perfect person to train with. He’s got an insane workout regime so don’t even try to keep up with him but being in his presence is a good motivation to try harder.

Speaking of, he’s a lot like Luffy in that he’s very motivational. However, unlike his captain, he’s a quiet inspiration. He might not say it often but if you ever get a few words of praise from Zoro, take that to heart. He really means it.

Says the most out of pocket things sometimes. He won’t even react to it. One minute you could be relaxing together, the next he’ll say something like “hey, have you ever smelt your own burning flesh?” and never elaborate.

At the same time, he’s also that one friend that, while he doesnt say much, when he does speak, it’s either really profound or stupidly funny. There’s no inbetween.

I feel like Zoro’s weirdly good at noticing when people close to him have habits that harm them in some way like biting your fingernails or chewing your lip. He’s also good at pointing out when you’re doing something like that so you can stop.

Amazing at keeping secrets, if only because he usually forgets he’s meant to keep whatever it is secret and just assumes everyone else knows so there’s no need to talk about it.

In the same vein, Zoro will remember the most obscure details about you. You could tell him there’s a spot on your back that burns in the sun easier than everywhere else and a year later, he’ll remind you to cover up that spot when you dock on an island.

The single best person to go clothes shopping with. She’s got an eye for fashion like no other and will always give you honest feedback on any clothes you try on. Just be warned that she’s not paying for your clothes. That’s on you.

Oh my goodness, a second hand shopping queen! She knows all the best places to get good quality and high end clothes for discount prices. It's great going shopping with her.

Despite Sanji being the cook, I feel like Nami’s decently good at baking. She’s got a bit of a sweet tooth in my mind so, as a result, she knows how to make sweet stuff.

That one friend who is brutally honest with everyone, regardless of whether she knows them or not.

Following on from that last headcanon, you might have to bail her out a lot. She has a tendency to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get in trouble. Good thing she’s got her friends for backup.

I feel like Nami has a habit of getting absorbed in her work and forgets to take breaks. If you want to help out, set up your work station next to hers and remind her to take a break whenever you do.

Really good with makeup and especially doing makeup and face care routines on others. If you need somewhere with your eyeliner or just want to have a spa day, Nami's your girl.

I feel like Nami would enjoy making jewellery from the treasure she finds. It increases the price if and when she decides to sell so it's a win-win. If you've very lucky, she might even gift you some jewellery she's made.

Feeling homesick? No need to worry, Sanji’s on the case. He’s somehow got a cookbook from your hometown or island full of things to make that taste like home for you.

Always doing little touch ups to your appearance, whether it’s adjusting your collar or tucking your hair back. Of course, he’ll always get the go ahead from you first.

Super empathetic. Somehow, he always knows how you’re feeling and will do his best to help you feel better.

However, just because he knows how you’re feeling, that doesn’t mean he always knows how to help. He’s good with comforting people generally but when it comes to something more nuanced, he can struggle at times due to not having much comfort in his life.

Speaking of comfort, he’s that one friend that always checks in with others but is super out of touch with his own feelings and health. Keep and eye on him in return and he’ll be very grateful.

If you like reading or writing, Sanji will ask you to help him make a cookbook or two. He really wants to compile all of his favourite dishes and figures the best way to do that is by making a book. He's just not sure how to go about it and would be grateful for any help you can provide.

He really loves spending quiet time with his friends one on one. Life with the Straw Hat's can be chaotic and loud at best so it's nice being able to relax in companionable silence for a change.

His love of gossip is only rivalled by Nami's. It's something he picked up from the Baratie and he loves being able to share lots of juicy stories with you.

Definitely the mum friend. Some might say it’s Robin but I think it would be Chopper. He’s always keeping an eye on everyone and trying to keep them out of harm’s way as much as possible.

However, this doesn’t mean he’s not a very chaotic influence as well. Once he lets go of his doctor’s instincts, he’s roughhousing right alongside Luffy and Usopp.

This one is more for the readers who experience periods or menstrual pain but if you ever have cramps, he’ll curl up into a ball that you can press to wherever it hurts. This goes for back pain as well if period pain isn’t an issue for you.

Speaking of back pain, Chopper is amazing at giving massages. You might not think it with his hooves but he’s light enough that he can stand on you in one of his smaller forms and really work out any kinks in your back.

I feel like Chopper does have the bad habit of giving unprompted diagnoses and can be a bit naggy regarding healthy living. It’s just because he cares though.

The fastest way to find out if Chopper considers you a close friend is if he asks you to tell him stories. It doesn't matter if they're exciting or not, he'll listen attentively because you're the one telling it.

Love, love, loves doodling on his friends hands and arms. He claims it's so he can practise marking skin for surgeries but he really just likes seeing a visible sign of the fact that he has friends.

Will use you as a reason to get sweet treats, especially if you like sweet stuff as well. Otherwise, he'll use the excuse that “it's a hot day and you've been really active so you should have something to make sure your blood sugar isn't too low, I'll have something too to keep you company!”

Robin is definitely that friend who will make a comment about getting rid of anyone who annoys you that you’re not sure is a joke or not. She does mean well, she just has a…unique way of expressing it.

In the same manner, she knows so many facts, both relevant and completely obscure, that you’ll never have to look far for information.

This sort of follows on from my headcanon about Chopper’s role as the mom friend: Robin is the cool wine aunt. Sure, she cares about her friends deeply, but she’s happy to take a backseat and watch the chaos unfold rather than try and prevent it.

Definitely a daydreamer. She’ll often gaze off into the distance while sailing between islands, clearly lost in thought.

Robin likes memes, especially dark humour ones or ones that Facebook mums would post. That's just the sort of thing she likes and if you're her friend, you'll be shown all of those memes.

I feel like she has a collection of weapons from different cultures stashed away somewhere. If you ask to borrow something, she'll be more than happy to show you how to use it most effectively.

The most responsible driver and happy to drive you wherever you need to go. However, she will be assertive when the traffic's particularly bad so hang onto your seats and buckle up!

I feel like Robin is good at sketching things quickly and accurately. She has a good eye for detail and, if you ask her to draw something, she'll pull together a drawing in a matter of minutes.

Need anything made for you? Franky’s the man for the job. No questions asked (other than what’s necessary of course) and he’ll work tirelessly until it’s perfect. There might be some interesting design choices though.

I think if you’re a creative minded person or have a talent for designing things, Franky would value your input in his designs.

One of the most chill people to hang out with one on one if you’re not super chaotic like Luffy. He’s very adaptable when it comes to his energy levels and will match the mood of the room.

Franky would absolutely be a theatre fan. While that might seem out there, it just makes sense. He’s already got a flair for theatrics and music so it would be right up his alley.

He’s a great listener. If you’ve got ideas or just need to talk through, he’s a good sounding board. He’ll also do his best to give feedback or advice where it’s required.

Franky is weird through proxy. Hanging out with Robin a lot does that to anyone so if you have strange hobbies or interests, you'll hear no judgement from him!

Following on from my headcanon that he'd make things for you, if you like collecting things or cosplaying, or just need props for something, this is the guy to ask. He'll get a few reference pictures and make an amazing replica for you.

Franky has a knack for photography. He's not really sure how he acquired this skill but he's certainly not complaining. If you ever want some “professional” photos done, just ask him and he'll be more than happy to help.

Jinbe loves talking about books. If you're a fan of reading or just want to listen to him ramble for once, bring up books and you're set.

Jinbe plays golf. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules. He knows it’s not everyone’s thing but he’d enjoy it if you tagged along for a game every once in a while.

He enjoys carrying his friends around and giving them piggy-back rides. He’s got the height and strength advantage, and it makes him feel like even more of an unofficial dad than he already is.

Prone to spouting quotes or sayings from ancient generals and philosophers at random moments. They’re always relevant to what you’re saying or doing though so that’s something.

In the same manner, he’s always got motivational posters laying around. You know those cat ones that way things like “hang in there” and “believe”. If you ever want some for yourself, he’ll happily help you pick out the perfect (purrr-fect) one.

Jinbe’s very good at giving advice. Unlike Luffy who gives good advice sporadically, Jinbe’s a lot more reliable. He’s got a lot of life experience to draw from.

He does, however, try to fix everyone’s problems for them, even if they don’t ask for help first. He only has your best intentions at heart but if you’d rather just talk things out or deal with things on your own, you’ll have to tell him that.

Always checks in on you before bed. It’s his way of making sure everyone he cares about is safe. If you want him to join you in your nighttime routine, whatever that may be, he’ll be more than happy to spend the time with you.

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[morningstarofdawnx]

Franky is autistic af

When I first started One Piece I thought no character could be more autistic coded than Zoro... that was until I got to water 7 and was introduced to Franky. I will list off all the autistic coding in him one by one, starting off with

Franky is a very emotional guy, but only people who are close to him knows this, because he rarely shows any emotion to strangers besides anger and determination. He literally masks like crazy and only shows his actual personality when hes comfortable enough to unmask, some of you may think Im reaching with this but then there is the fact that;

He literally gets introduced with a mask. A MASK. You first see him and think hes this badass and evil guy thats holding the whole town hostage, he talks in a very low tone and never makes it obvious what hes actually feeling, it goes like this until he sees his home and underlings beaten up and gets very very mad!! this ALSO brings me to;

He is incredibly apathetic towards people he doesnt know, but is very empathetic towards his friends, before he meets usopp in his new base and they talk about the merry together, he literally made his underlings beat the living crap out of him when he came to get his money back!! Sounds very rude, but we later on learn its for his dream of making a ship one last time so, HES EXCUSED.

After him and usopp talk about the merry and he hears usopps story, they get closer, and the second that happens he immediately shows his emotional side and starts crying for this random guy he met 2 days ago?! He does this for Robin as well after hearing her story about her sacrificing herself, HE NEVER EVEN MET ROBIN. It shows how much he cares about the people gets closer to, he knows Robin is important to usopp and sanji and even though he doesnt know Robin personally he sees shes important to his friends so he immediately shows his care and appreciation 4. Hes born with superhuman abilities, he can make a CANONBALL out of some random junk he found off the ground, he is shown to be incredibly smart with his main interest being tech stuff and ship building, he didnt even need any training to be able to make very powerful warships, HE WAS LITERALLY SO BORED HE SPENT HIS TIME BUILDING WARSHIPS LIKE HE WAS MAKING TOYS OR SOMETHING?? Autistic characters in media are often represented as these nonhuman beings that are very good at doing a specific thing, Franky fits this description perfectly

5. He has a vocal stim where he says SUUUUPEEEER before words or just says it by itself, its basically his trademark

6. This is like the most obvious one, but hes literally a robot. Hes a cyborg, he built his body himself after getting hit by a train, autistic people both in media and in real life are seen as these robots with no emotions and many autistic characters in media are often represented as robots/aliens/nonhuman as well

7. His bikini his his comfort clothing, he has been wearing it since he is a child and its pretty clear he got attached to is in some way or another considering we never see him take it out ever, there is also the scenes where he does robot things and his bikini literally COMES OFF LIKE ITS PART OF HIS BODY so it can be theorized he made it a part of his body LMAO

8. He dances as a type of stimming. Not even just dancing, sometimes he'd just be standing there and he starts moving his arms and body as if hes bored, which can also be a sign of ADHD but that type of stimming is common in autism as well 9. HE BITES PEOPLE WHEN HE CANT USE THE REST OF HIS BODY. HES A BITER. Nom THAT IS ALL FOLKS! Or at least all that I can think of at the moment, share your thoughts if u agree

[lazaruspiss]

Ok I’m gonna shoot my question here while you are in a analysis red hood mode (??): what do you think about his mommy issues (and fandom’s making it a trope)?

ooooo oh ok ok. this ones touchy. while i dont think its that present in canon i do think its there and worth the however many fics there are about it. like obvi theres probably a lot of boring and/or bad takes about it but the concept itself isnt running contradictory to canon or anything. i reread aditf a bit for this and had some tangents ill put in another post, but back to mommy issues.

jason had very little parental presence in his life at all. dads in prison, moms sick, he has no one looking out for him. probably why he and bruce seem to have bonded fairly quickly and jason accepted him as a father figure faster than any of the others. jasons bar for what makes a decent parent was nonexistent bc hed never really had someone dedicated to taking care of him. (even damian was hesitant, bc bruce being his dad would create distance between him and dick bc dick would no longer be his mentor, and hed gotten a bit attached)

jason accepted bruce as a father, but still missed his parents. he loved and grieved for both of them and most likely missed the idea of having normal parents in general in addition to missing his parents themselves. his love for his mom is still there when he realizes shes his step-mom instead, but it's accompanied by the hope that he still has living family out there.

the fact that jason went on a mom hunt in the first place is already enough that im like, yeah, i see where the mommy issues talk comes from. but i think you can go a few different directions with it

so theres catherine todd, who we only really know as being sick and a substance user throughout jasons childhood up until her death. iirc she died while willis was either already dead or in prison and so theres a period of time where jason (10-12ish?) would be taking care of his mother alone. being your mother's caretaker when you're still in elementary school does not make for a normal relationship.

and sheila haywood was uh. an illegal surgeon of sorts who fled the country and started a new life. apparently had an existing connection to the joker when she lived in gotham. he knows who she is and he knows how to blackmail her. while sheila describes it to jason as an operation gone wrong, joker calls it an "illegal surgery that killed a teenage girl" and sheila didnt seem to dispute that. probably watered down a lot of details in her explanation to jason. (the combination of 'illegal' and 'teenage girl' feels like it could imply an abortion? but it's left vague) and THEN it turns out she was stealing money meant to be used to save starving refugees before the joker even showed up. she sure is something. she still tries to help jason after he helps her, but don't skip over the part where she helps him after he helps her. she is still a person, but she is a fundamentally selfish person in every way. her final words include her commenting on how jason was a good kid who loved his mother. ive seen people take her final moments as a show that she still loved him, but i don't see it. one of those "a person doing a fraction of a good thing doesnt absolve them of everything else" kind of deals.

in both cases jasons mother(s) were relying on him. he never had an opportunity to be cared for and treated like a child. i don't think jason would have specific "mommy issues" about either of them, i think that he'd have some heavy feelings about the concept of a mother itself. what's it like to have a mom? does he still have a chance to be cared for and nurtured? his childhood was over before he had even met batman. becoming robin and being murdered is just tripling the issues he would've already had about his childhood regardless.

this is starting to veer off topic but

yes im finding a way to make this about Brothers in Blood. bite me. but even the first time i read this something that really stuck out is how jasons imaginary version of dick refers to him as a kid. dick doesnt really... do that. he did back when jason really was a kid, but this page says a lot about jasons self perception. he still wants to be taken care of, even if its not specifically "mommy issues" he definitely yearns for a chance to be treated like a kid again, after having rarely gotten that kind of care when he was a kid. (this page in particular is the first page of nightwing (1996) #121, which is one that i have a physical copy of <3)

[resident-gay-bitch]

Jay's Steddie Fic Recs :)

because i have so many, I needed to make a fresh post of them :)

some of these fics are found on tumblr, some on ao3, maybe some on wattpad? all of them are spectacular. i’ll tag the creators tumblrs if i know them :)

happy reading! <3

Steves First Bruise spiderman!steve x roommate!eddie - eddie has a crush on his roommate steve, who also happens to get into a lot of fights. he also ends up with a crush on spider man. how long will it take for him to figure it out he’s only crushing on one person? please its so adorable

Till I Kissed You steve x eddie - super angsty. eddie doesnt get the big deal about kissing, steve calls him a bad kisser, they kiss to test it out. oh god, now theyre both questioning everything. perfection.

The Boys Of Summer eddie x steve & wayne - for all you wayne lovers out there. steve dreams that eddies alive, he’s so sure that his dreams are real, he tries to break into the upsidedown by himself to get the boy he loved back. wayne tags along for the ride. please, this is so good it has me dying i love it so much.

Not Exactly Nappa Valley eddie x steve - ultimate fake dating scenerio. steve has a family wedding to attend and he wants to piss off his parents, so he brings eddie and they gay it up and… oh my god, plot twist, who wouldda thought they both harboured feelings for eachother?

Needles steve x eddie - eddie gives steve a stick and poke and he kinda gets hard because hes a sadist. steve gives eddie a stick and poke and eddie almost busts in his pants. its pretty funny and has some fabulous smut.

If Your Heart Surrenders steve x eddie - super angst. dates back pre s4 and is very soft and angsty and i loveee it. i binge read the shit out of it. it has a very sweet ending. an alternate version can also be found here on tumblr. @asbealthgn

Recipe For Disaster steve x eddie - princess diaries au?! excuse me, hello. this is everything to me. it is pure perfection. please give this a read because it has me sitting on the edge of my seat, biting my nails and pulling at my hair. everytime a new chapter drops i get so excited. prince steve?!? yes. yes yes yes. @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe

Crashed The Wedding steve x rockstar!eddie - steve is forced into an arranged marriage and eddie comes to save the day after nine years apart. HELLO this is amazing. pure beauty. please take the time to read this because it’s magnificent, makes my heart swell. it’s very very good. makes me feel things. i love them so much. @piratefishmama

Eddie’s Memory Log steve x eddie - eddie is in hospital post vecna and can’t remember anything, steve visits every day and writes down what eddie can remember - hint hint, eddie always remebers steve. this is so good, i love it very very much, please give it a read. @harmonictechnicality

This Love Came Back To Me famous!steve hopper x ‘dead’!eddie munson - steve rescued eddie’s guitar after his death and processed his grief through song writing, pouted his heart out into the lyrics and took the world by surprise. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH okay, just read it. it’s so fucking good. gut wrenching stuff, okay!? have a read. it’s beautiful. so fucking beautiful i was going through every single possible emotion known to man. @strawberryspence

Bad News First steve x eddie - steve grieves for eddie’s death and becomes close with wayne in the process, slowly falling in love with what could have been with eddie. until… I LOVE IT. it’s beautiful. one of my favs. @strangersteddierthings

Melt Me On Your Tongue wounded!sub!eddie x caring!dom!steve - this is a spicy one, basically pure smut, but it’s got a lot of feelings. i love the style, the atmosphere, and the feeling the author has created for this fic and steve & eddie’s dynamic. it honestly feels delicate to read, and i love it very much. highly recommend. very soft but very spicy and hot :) @steddielations

Black Out Days (Fairground Nights) - eddie x steve - no monsters, modern au. nancy and eddie are best friends, robin and steve are best friends. when nancy and robin date, steve and eddie clash… a lot. ‘tis brilliant. this fic is so fucking angsty, it’s got some really fucking heavy themes (please read the warnings before proceeding) but it’s written so effortlessly beautifully. this has easily become one of my favourites now. it’s more than worth the read. @azrielgreen

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

First off, hi! I love Hobie and Spiderverse in general, I've seen it twice and my favourites are Hobie, Pavitr, Mayday and Peter Parked Car! I have several headcanons that od love to share with you!

1) Hobie and Pavitr first bond over their mutual dislike for the British monarchy and government, but admit that the tea is really good.

2) Hobie is literally a Robin Hood to the people of Mumbhattan, particularly in the slums and poorer areas. He also helps May Auntie and he's one of the few people outside the immediate family that she trusts and respects.

3) Hobie and Pav come up with a plan to steal what Britain stole from the museum and to give it back. Its all sorted out; Mayday is the distraction and Peter Parked Car is the getaway vehicle. PPC has a booster seat specifically for Mayday.

4) Mayday has a toy called Spiderspider. He's a spider that was bitten by a radioactive spider and she refuses to sleep without him, even for naps.

5) Hobie is shortsighted and has half moon glasses for reading and sewing. He also loves to sew as a way to relax and he makes Mayday a battle jacket with acab in building blocks on the back

6) Hobie and Pav act like a couple and Mayday is their daughter. They do this without a hint of sarcasm and Miguel is both confused and not surprised.

I love all of these so much!! Especially the fact that you liked Peter Parked Car!!! (Honestly him and Lego-Spider-man are two of the good ones I trust them) and sdfdfkjdsf now I have headcanons of your headcanons!

I love tea and I love the idea that Hobie could be Pavi's 'tea plug'. He brings him all sorts of teas - English Breakfast would probably be something Pavi likes. They both probably have REALLY strong opinions when they learned Miles makes tea in the microwave and not the kettle (don't worry miles i do too)

OOOOOOOOO This is a good one!!! Especially since things are more drastic and somewhat hardcore in Hobie's universe, I could see him really really enjoying helping out in Mumbattan. Bonus points because Mumbattan is sunny. His patrols there probably put him in such a good mood - I bet Mumbattan is one of those universes that LOVE all Spider-people that come through

YOOOOOO THEM DOING THAT WOULD BE CRAZY Especially cause the news would be like 'how did these huge 2 ton statues from India disappear in 3 minutes'? And it's like easy, Hobie just picked one up and walked out. They're that strong that they can steal EVERYTHING back no matter how big. And it's like a modern mystery how like the entire West wing of the British Museum went missing in 15 minutes

SPIDERSPIDER SUPREMACY - I need a real spiderspider so the person it bites becomes Spiderspider-person lol

I love the idea of Hobie doing textile crafts so much because it makes so much since! I bet he does embroidery too, because it helps for patches. People probably think he doesnt wear his glasses out of embarrassment but in reality he probably would like them a lot and not want to damage them/lose them so he keeps them somewhere

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB!! - yknow the one with the baby clam and Patrick and Spongebob!! I need something like that with them oh my goodness - like Pavi walking around with rollers in his hair (only coconut oil, my ass - LIES) and Mayday on his hip. Suddenly Hobie is wearing an all-black robe with patches (doing dad-style WAY more stylishly than Peter), they get super into it and Mayday probably thinks its hilarious

Honestly all of these are so cute!! Especially the Hobie in Mumbattan one I love carefree Hobie Brown. He deserves it so much

(also sorry this wasn't proofread because i am counting spoons today)

[blnk338]

have any rodrigo and nadya headcanons?? like the both of them together and their friendship behind the scenes??

ANON I LOVE YOU

// weed, death, minor ed mention, abuse mention

general:

they're the kind of friends that are super cool with cuddling bc they both have insane ptsd and both have been out of the romance zone for literally eons

rigo's just not feelin' the dating scene, nadya's just super fucking bad with people

they'll sneak into each others dorms and sometimes crash on the floor bc of nightmares

rigo's good emotionally, he's gotten so much better so much faster because he had a really good family growing up

nadya took far more damage and had so much less support growing up; their drastically different childhoods affected how either one processed the deaths of their friends and they both respect their current standings

rigo's the only person nadya lets do whatever he wants to her; like he'll hug her and smother her in physical affection and she's just so comfortable around him that she'll just keep the conversation going

in comparison, nadya will do fucking anything for him. he'll mention something little about being hungry and nadya will sneak the biggest piece of garlic bread she can find from the DFAC to give it to him

its so funny to see them in public bc rigo's waving to people, he's smiling, he's got blue jeans with smiley face patches stitched onto the legs, some indie bands merch as a shirt, and vans or converse on. like he's so fuckign californian its insane.

meanwhile he's got his guard dog who's wearing a sweater and a hoodie and jeans/dickies in 85 degree weather, her face mask just dribbling sweat.

rigo's the bark, nadya's the bite

rigo: dogs

nadya: cats

nadya's a good cook, rigo's a good baker; when nadya goes to san diego, they'll make huge meals together and mix their cultures together

nad makes a lot of Mediterranean/morroccan stuff bc of her dad, bastilla, a lotta couscous, yk (plus some slavic foods, but her favorite things are falafels and tzatziki)

rigo's got conchas lined up, ready for baking, he's really good at making little designs and adding cute little details to make the concha’s that more enjoyable. how he makes hello kitty out of a sweet treat, no one knows

nadya and rigo used to have smoke sessions after the crash bc of their nerves, then made the mutual agreement to stop for each others sakes

bonded over the fact that they're both first gen

can read each others body language fluently, the other doing whatever is needed to make the stressed one comfortable

nad's learned a lot from rigo's emotional maturity; they'll hang out and paint nails and watch shitty two star movies on tubi and just talk for days on end. up all night talking about shit

rigo's got a lot of good advice from experience, nadya's got good advice bc shes really logical, even without the experience that rigo's got, they're able to bounce off each other

matching blood types

knows that nadya prefers not to talk much in public, or really be out at all when its not dark out or cold-- she likes excuses to cover herself up bc of her scarred skin--, so he's literally the "excuse me, she asked for no pickles" but it's only half true bc rigo actually hates pickles and nadya is a food vacuum

whatever he doesnt want, he'll pick off his food and either put it on his or nadya's plate, and she'll poke it with her fork and wordless eat whatever's discarded

he asks if nadya's hungry often bc he knows about her parents neglect growing up, so she'll often overlook how hungry she is bc she wasnt used to eating on a schedule

yesenia (rigo's mom) calls nadya gordita

christmas specific:

rigo was the first person to ask nadya about why she was so fucked up about the holidays and she opened up about her mom and robin

rigo was like "well u could come back w me for christmas my family loves people" and she was super hesitant (pre-accident nadya), but agreed and followed him back to san diego

nadya was pretty reserved about the whole thing, but rodrigo did everything he could to make her feel comfortable, even giving her little translations for stuff here and there

"oh yeah, but don't say that shit around my mom. like don't say no mames."

"why?"

"i think she'll kill me"

nadya had her first nice christmas; no guilt, no anxiety, nothing that made her regret being there. rigo's parents absolutely loved her, especially b/c she offered to help with everything

presents were opened up at midnight and, even though nadya didn't get anything bc the cassidy's weren't expecting her, she still felt so much love

that was also the first night when the two of them had to sleep in the same bed, and they just laid awake staring at the ceiling for a while.

rigo's not super good at keeping things to himself-- bud's got a bad filter-- so he was overthinking the entire time.

"hey nadder i just wanted you to know that this isn't like a sexual thing."

"what?"

"like im not into you."

"i didnt think you were"

"okay"

there was a moment of silence where neither one of them said anything bc nadya, who is so bad with social cues, just thought her friend was giving her a heads up, and rigo, who is much better with social cues, was panicking bc he didnt want his best friend to think he was trying to do anything weird.

"nads im gay"

"okay"

more silence before she followed it up with: "... is that gonna change anything?"

"no. like i... dont think so"

"ok. goodnight"

"goodnight."

"you're gay"

"yes i am."

"that's good."

the rest of christmas, even up until the new year, was spent with the cassidy's bc they loved her so much and she really didnt have anywhere else to go

i have more but its late and this was what i've got so far anon you're so cool and smart tysm for asking about rigo :)

[beary-eyed]

Batfamily Autism Headcannons! (Aka: me projecting a lot)

Tim Edition

.Doesnt go nonverabl alot but will have partial non-speaking periods where he can talk but not in full sentences or complicated words.

.Not a large stimmer, he will stim quite a bit but theyre small enough to not be noticed however during meltdowns the stims are large and almost always self-destructive, kicking, biting, pulling hair you name it

.His parents were recommended to have his assessed at 4 when a babysitter pointed it out and they did however Tim was non-verbal the entire time so his parents spoke for him and left out a couple of important things and downplayed the severity. So Tim left being told he wasnt autistic and even more confused than before.

.He only has 1 constant safe food (raspberry licorice) bit typically he just has food hes mostly ok with but on bad days he cant stand, that list is still short because a lot of food textures are unbearable to him (tomatoes, fuck tomatoes).

.Expressions like "break a leg" have never been an issue but tone is almost indecipherable, he has no idea if a person is angry or joking or actually happy.

.Bruce was once pissed at Tim for disobeying an order and Tim who just thought he was not being serious made a joke back. He was grounded until Bruce realised Tim had no idea he wasnt joking.

.Can come off as blunt and rude, this can usually be brushed off by others as a spoiled rick kid or an insensitive asshole but he really doesnt want to hurt peoples feelings.

.Bruce was pretty distant when Tim became Robin so he never really noticed Tim had signs of autism (it may have also been bcs Bruce is autistic and happens to also be stupid) until Dick visited and said "Is the kid diagnosed?".

.Bruce was confused, "Diagnosed with what?", Dick was so confused "With autism, Tim's autistic". Bruce in all his dumbassery says "Tim's autistic?" at top volume. And Tim who was walking into the room and heard everyting said "Im autistic?". That was how he found out.

.Once he knew he had autism he researched every single thing about it, from the scientific articles to mummy blogs. And so he quickly became aquainted with terminology and a new soecial interest formed .

.Tims main special interest is Batman, Bruce absolutely adores this

.Verbal stims are his favourite, his person favourites is "Stimming: Self-stimulatory behaviour" and "Superman" said very quickly and directky after each other so it sounds like a blur of "Supermansupermansupermansuperman-".

Thank you for listening to my ramblings.

[spiderblog-mcu]

Stranger Things Halloween Ed.: mythical creatures

Hope everyone is having a spook-tastic day!

Steve: Vampire

- loves garlic bread so is constantly itching with hives

- doesn’t sleep but likes to cuddle you at night

- knows if you’re not well or near your period because your blood smells different to him

- sunburns to easily

- considers himself a vegetarian because he only drinks animals

- has debating making an acceptation to bite Billy

Eddie: Wear Wolf

- that real reason why he loves his shaggy long hair

- sheds EVERYWHERE

- hates the “full moon” stereotype

- definitely a good cuddler

- always protective of you

- one time he gave you the cold shoulder because you tried to play fetch with him

Billy: Demon

- is one charming bastard

- tried to possess you once but he couldn’t get in

- fucks around with the Ouija board to scare the kids

- enters your dreams at night to make you slowly fall for him

- is actually in Hawkins to help stop Venca in order to put the evolution of humans back in order

- DOESNT DIE

- reverse curses you so that Vecna can’t get in your head

Jonathan: Ghost

- explains why he looks dead sometimes

- can walk through walls

- pretends to haunt Argyle

- haunts you too but doesn’t try to scare you

- hes too awkward to talk to you in person

- also fucks with the Ouija board

Robin: pixie

- hides her ears behind her hair

- cute and bubbly

- always sprinkles you with pixie dust before a test for good luck

- cottage core vibes

- loves to hold your hand in fields of flowers

- not great at magic but can make a mean pan of brownies for you

[sseroxy]

Things I want/predict from Stranger Things 4

Most is El because shes my queen and there's a lot going on with her

Joyce learning/teaching her kids how to fight melee, with weapons, and guns

Please give El a gun now that she has no powers

Will talked about his trauma, let El do it now. She never really talked about the messed up stuff that happened to her because of fear, pain, and language issues so please let her talk to Joyce or Jonathan or Will I beg

Will needs to talk more as well

Specifically let El and Will just use each other as a venting unit, a healthy way of talking cause they both have similar trauma and might even feel they’re the only ones they can talk to. They have a bunch of similarities (like being a punching bag apparently)

Jonathan and El big bro lil sis relayionship PLEASE

Will and El being very close

Idk why but I want El to put the adoption papers from Hopper in a frame and hang it on her wall

Also have her wear Hoppers shirts/hat, but in her own stylish ways like wearing them around her waist or like she did in the “three months later” thing where it was kinda brought up like a crop top

More LuMax!

The boys being boys and talking

Robin and Steve trying to get dates Aka Steve the wingman

Dustin and Suzie get to meet

If it's Thanksgiving, put them all together like a happy family for once jeez

bring hopper back cowards

More girl time with El and Max

El and Will realizing they missed out on their childhood and just doing child things together

El keeping her door open 3 inches

Max leaves home or the parents split

El learns more about *cough* hormones and puberty (y'all can thank that scene with Max and "happy screams" along with the lingerie store the boys saw)

The Duffers confirm whether or not Will is gay, bc I'm sick of the poking and playing around with it just say yes or no I'm tired

Steve gets beat up big time OR he actually wins a fight without getting beat up for once, OR HE GETS BEAT UP AND STILL KICKS THE OTHER PERSONS/MONSTERS BUTT

El and her eggos

El's leg is still messed up and has a big scar, and she covers it up because its a bad memory

Also because I doubt The Bite was all for nothing mainly because El's blood on the ground was shifting; El is infected like the Flayed and once the gate starts opening again, she could very well be the Mind Flayers new host

El having to deal with having no powers and just breaking down at one point(she's had them all her life, and in each season is thought of as some machine to be used, and now that she's powerless, she may see her self worth drop. She's been mimicking everyone since the start because she doesnt know who she is, and her powers are the only thing she knows is hers, so taking it away..existential crisis? i totally headcanon she might think if she had her powers, she coulda saved Hop or somethin)

Let El say every single swear word. If not

Let El say f*** only because Max and Billy said it. Honor your swearing dad little Jedi

Give the Byers another dog

Joyce being the best mom ever again

Will and El not just talking about their stuff, but LARPing it, since Will cant teach her DND, and since they both lost their childhoods, that is a great way to make up for it, it would help them talk and i think it’d be really cute if Will helped El make a character. Then it ends up being angsty when the story starts to become their pasts and then they’re just crying together. They honestly need it rn

If El does end up with the infection, Will would 100% feel it and that could create some tension

GIVE ME *SLAMS HANDS ON COUNTER* ROBIN AND THE OTHER KIDS INTERACTIONS FOR MY SAKE

Robin is now the crazy Aunt of the group, with Steve as the mom

Erica and Lucas interacting and talking about adventures

Just more interactions within the group bls

Joyce going nuts, she always has to, it’s who she is

Give me gruesome, give me pain, and i cannot stress this enough, but season 4(if it does come out) should

MAKE ME CRY AND DOUBLE OVER IN 

PAIN

[redrobin-detective]

Even More Billy Batson Headcanons

- Billy is honestly one of the most kindhearted souls out there. He’s been through the wringer and can be pretty cynical but he still cares so much. His tough guy act is very flimsy, dropping the second anyone else needs help. Still, he swears a lot, is cautious and generally keeps to himself, he’s twice as stubborn as a brick wall and will bite you if you even dare insinuate he can’t care for himself and be a hero. On the occasion the League questions why the Captain is still with them, they see Billy put himself out time and again for people and remember that Billy Batson will always be the best of the League.

- As Billy, he has a fairly low magical aura. If a magic user were trying to sense for Captain Marvel, it would be next to impossible. While has a high propensity for magic, he himself barely registers as magic as a form of protection. He comes across instead as a normal kid with normal low level magical abilities not realizing they’re sensing the bond of Shazam and not the powerful entity hidden away on the Rock of Eternity when not being used.

- Speaking of which, Billy has his own magic within him. You can only plant a seed in fertile ground. Billy has his own limit supply of magic he was born with, not much, just enough to tweak his luck every now and again but it was enough that he was able to bond with the Shazam entity. Not just anyone can hold and manifest that kind of power, you need someone with at least some amount of magic for the power to take root in.

- While Billy is growing up, he is actually aging much slower than most kids. That’s because his human body is put in stasis of sorts when as the Captain, his cells don’t divide and he doesn’t make or consume energy. He returns the same exhaustion/hunger/pain level as when he transformed though too long/hard battles do wear him out by stressing on his soul. With all his time spent as Marvel, Billy has probably gained at least a few months extra time.

- Billy knows the League is uncomfortable with him not only A. being a kid and a superhero but also B. that Billy acts very different from the Captain. He IS the Cap but the magic censors and cleans him up a bit so only the best of Billy is seen. He thus tries not to be Billy around them too much and, when he is, tries to act very stern and adult like which, you know, fails but he wants so badly to belong that he keeps trying to present himself as this imposing hero but he is just a leetle creecher. (PS Billy has modeled his “adult man hero” personality off of Bruce and its goddamn hilarious)

- Adding onto the point above, y’all are gonna bring up Black Adam. So while the human body normally isn’t affected by staying in magic mode, if it’s done for too long it does have negative consequences on the human. Billy never gone beyond a soul deep exhaustion but after years and decades and centuries in magical form, the human body decays and degrades until nothing is left. Same with the mind, so long away from human form really warps the mind as the physical body is broken down. So uh there’s Adam. 

- The Wizard searched for centuries across all known universes for his new champion. Billy kind of assumes the Wizard kind of came down to the wire and chose him at random but the choice was made with careful deliberation. He was wary of choosing a child at first but he understood that a second advent of superheroes was arising who would be there to guide and support the boy.

- One of the many reasons Billy was chosen is that, had the Wizard not intervened, Billy would not have lived to see his 12th birthday. On a cold winter’s night while Captain Marvel was at the Watchtower on Monitor duty, in another reality a powerless Billy froze to death curled up in an alleyway. The Wizard refused to allow such a kindhearted soul to pass on without getting a chance to shine.

- Billy doesn’t really go to proper school. Since he insists on not being taken care of by the League he has no official residence/parents. Instead he spends a few years receiving high level tutoring from various available heroes in order to catch up on his education until he is eventually fostered and starts attending real school. The JLA really works hard to limit Marvel’s duties during regular school hours but sometimes things happen.

- Billy had met Freddy Freeman in the streets before they became brothers. When Freddy was first taken away from his folks he tried to rough it on the streets where he struggled due to his lack of knowledge and disability. Billy intervened and gave Freddy food, advice and friendship. Eventually Billy convinced him that Fred would be better with a family. A few years later they run across each other again when Billy’s pretty worn down and Fred returns the favor and takes him back to his foster home. They’d all heard of Billy’s bravery and kindness from Freddy and before he knows it, Billy has been assimilated in. Official foster proceedings go through and Billy, for the first time since he was a child, has a place to call home and is ecstatic. The League breathes a sigh of relief and the Vasquez family receives a sizable check from “””Billy’s trust fund””” every month.

- I’ve mentioned that Billy and Jay were super tight when Jay was Robin. Billy was over at the Manor all the time hanging out (and Alfred force feeding him so much food and making him take home ungodly amounts of tupperware). A few times when Robin was out kicking butt but Jason needed to be somewhere, Billy would throw on a hat and go out with Bruce and act in Jay’s stead. Also one time Jay got mad at B and ran away to Fawcett and roughed it with Billy for a few days until Bruce dragged him back by the hair. They had a great time, the street kids still whisper of the manic Gotham kid who hung around Batson and kicked major ass.

[mercenarypark]

tf2 mercs and pets

ive been writing on this since yesterday and now im sick of it so heres a lot of words i made to distract myself from my father #animal abuse #abuse #physical abuse #antisemitism #insects #spiders #dogs #cats #birds #snakes #long post #text heavy

-medic, obviously, has a LOT of experience with birds. his mother had a cockatoo that he was basically raised with, and throughout his childhood he would always try to befriend the wild birds around their home [on the occasion he was allowed outside, that is]. in college/med school, he kept up that same trend, earning a less than stellar reputation as "that weird fucker who tries to climb trees around campus to get a better look at the birds’ nests", alongside his other reputations, "the weird gay jew who doesnt understand personal space" and "probably the cause of at least three "disappearances" throughout the semester since they were last seen harassing him"

-BLU engie gets ein[the canary] after a family member dies, they werent particularly close but the guy didnt have a will or any friends willing to take the bird, and engie was basically the closest living relative available [note: only BLU engie has the canary, not RED engie, and he recieves it a few years after joining the mercs]

-pyro kept the dalmation puppy they take in the comics, and he's a big comfort for them, they'll sometimes spend hours just playing with him or hugging him to calm themselves down from a panic attack; funny thing is, no one's entirely sure what pyro NAMED him, not even the people who can usually understand pyro's mumbles[engie, medic, solly, demo]. all 4 of them seem to hear completely different things so theyve just kind of accepted as a group that the dog has four different names that are all equally valid

-pyro also loves a lot of bugs, BLU py had a pet praying mantis for a while until the administrator made everyone move bases again, this time to a much colder climate- they were worried the mantis wouldn't survive the lower temperatures and released it before they left; theyve also kept tarantulas, ants, and stag beetles before -engie is also really into ant keeping and he and pyro bond over that, engie builds big elaborate setups for their ant colonies

-medic talks to birds, a lot, and seems to hold full conversations with them a lot of the time. not just his pigeon flock, either, but any bird- from sparrows to falcons to parakeets

-demo volunteers at the "kitten orphanage" shown in end of the line- hed work at the regular human orphanage too, but... he has too many bad memories of his own time as an "orphan". the kittens all love him, engie will sometimes come by to find demo sprawled on the floor on his back, three kittens on his chest, one asleep on his neck, one kneading its paws on his cheek, one chewing on his shoe...

-medic doesnt understand dogs. hes not scared of them, not really, he just. doesnt understand how they work. he cant read their body language at ALL and he was rarely around them as a child. he's ok with cats, though he still cant understand their body language that well, and sometimes irritates the shyer or more aggressive ones by being too affectionate- he only blames himself for getting scratched/bit though

-spy says he never had pets growing up, which is probably a lie- he just doesnt want to give anyone any information about his childhood and family life. he's mentioned once or twice that he wouldnt mind getting a pet snake, though, which engie thought was fucking hilarious and fitting

-scout actually didnt have pets growing up- her family spent a lot of time trying to make ends meet, and a tiny, shitty apartment w/ her, her ma, and her 7 siblings wasnt exactly an optimal environment for a pet. she always liked cats, though, and mice, and after she joins the mercs she grows to really love birds, too, because theyre Everywhere at the bases

-[RED] demo got his parrot, joyce, from BLU soldier[only RED demo has the birdman of aberdeen in my hcs]. solly found it in a bush somewhere as a chick, and brought it to demo. demo has no fucking clue how the hell jane managed to find a baby parrot out in the badlands, but he winds up taking her in, getting a lot of help from medic to get adjusted [medic is absolutely delighted and fawns over joyce the whole fucking time he loves her so much]

-demo's really worried for the longest time that he wont be able to take care of joyce properly ["i can barely keep myself together, how'm i supposed to keep you alive?"]  but he grows to really love her and she becomes an emotional support animal for him, on some of his worst days he keeps himself from drinking himself into a blackout by keeping her busy and happy

-she becomes even more important to him after the WAR update events, as a living reminder of his old relationship with jane; it hurts him sometimes to look at her and remember the grin on jane's face when she first handed him that parrot chick, but he loves joyce anyway and nothing's gonna change that

-demo also used to own lizards, he's partial to bearded dragons

-both RED and BLU solly are licensed falconers and wildlife rehabilitators. no one's entirely sure how. but its the reason shes allowed to have her Horde of Raccoons and also her fucking bald eagle [note: BLU solly is the one with the Compatriot, RED solly is the one with LT bites and the other raccoons]

-engie grew up with farm animals, because of course. he's good with horses, pigs, cattle, and sheep, and working dogs. one of the times the mercs had their bases relocated, they wound up in texas so RED engie took everyone out to his family's old farm [he pays to have it taken care of while his dad's... gone and he's w/ the mercs]

-spy flips the fuck out when he realizes just how fucking huge hogs are. then someone[scout] absolutely knocks spy into the mud with the pigs and he gets trampled and everyone laughs. also spy is mildly terrified of horses. spy does not have a good time at dell's farm

-speaking of terrified of horses, demo,

well really he's not terrified, hes just distrustful. it takes a long time for tavish to warm up to engie's horses, with a lot of reassuring from dell that hes not doing something wrong

-medic's pigeons are extremely affectionate and loyal to him, first and foremost. at least one or two accompany him at pretty much all times, except for when they're locked into their aviary at night. they also love heavy, scout, and pyro, and like/tolerate everyone else

-heavy loves birds. his family has a lot of chickens, and hes very partial to them; he also has a parakeet, who his sisters take care of while he's with the mercs. RED heavy is the one that finds the red army robin; he sees an injured little bird in the snow and he brings it to medic

-jane “soldier” doe cannot take care of cats or dogs or other normal pets for the life of her but if you hand her an injured wild porcupine and say "hey, how do i take care of this" she'll know exactly what to do; sometimes both soldiers will just come out onto the battlefield bottlefeeding a squirrel or something, and somehow artfully dodge enemy fire while shooting rockets AND feeding a baby animal. how's that for multitasking

-scout's ma, peg, has a cockatiel that she gets after all her children have left the nest, so to speak. scout teaches it to whistle happy birthday and demonstrates that on peg's birthday and its sweet

-heavy has a very specific [canonical, at least w/ "pokernight at the inventory"] childhood memory of watching a boy kill a sparrow, w/ the implication that the memory haunts him a little bit; seeing the injured robin brought that memory to the surface, and it freaked him out more than he'd like to admit. he was kind of panicking when he asked for medic's help, but trying desperately not to show it

-spy hates dogs. he hates horses. he hates insects. he tolerates cats. but most damning of all, he hates birds. thats a big problem with at least half of the base loving or at least liking birds, and with all the pigeons/doves everywhere

-it takes YEARS before spy stops insulting or scolding medic's pigeons every time he gets the chance, and the main reason he stops is because medic absolutely was NOT having it... still though, spy has his limits. he never hurt any of medic's birds, or anyone else's pets, because he may be a mercenary but he does have some standards. mostly

-this is notable, because, hahahhhhhhh. im gonna eventually make a much longer post about this, but medic has a fair amount of Trauma[tm] from dealing with classic heavy's abusive bullshit; the thing is though, cheavy realized quickly that medic could handle being yelled at or physically punished for his mistakes or his worse quirks... but he had a very vulnerable flock of pigeons with him, that he regarded as family and who meant the world to him

-the scene in the comics where cheavy grabs archimedes tight and throws him to the ground was not an isolated incident, is what im saying. though it /was/ one of the more violent ones, since after a few threats and a few times of cheavy proving he absolutely would follow through on his threats, medic got the hint

-through his time working w/ the classics, medic becomes more secluded and on edge, and more prone to breakdowns and fits; and even more protective of his flock, urging them multiple times to fly away and leave him, to find heavy or scout or SOMEONE and stay with them, that he would come back for them when he could[but they always refused to leave him]... the baboon infant incident was a long time coming and he only held off on detonating it as long as he did through sheer willpower and a healthy fear of retribution

-ANYWAY. projecting aside.

-scout /would/ get a cat from the kitten orphanage but shes worried it would try to kill or eat some of medic's doves, since they basically free roam the base; so instead she goes by with demo sometimes to play with the cats and its Good

-ms pauling is a big dog person, and i mean that both in the "she really loves dogs" way and in the "she loves dogs that are Massive" way; she grew up with newfoundlands and bully breeds and shes still got a big soft spot for them; she has two shelter dogs, one's an 11 y/o pit+rottie, the other is a 7 y/o mutt that has some st bernard in it and who's blind in one eye; she spoils them rotten

-engie is really into fishkeeping and after all this merc business is over, he wants to have big fucking tanks installed in his home; hes also surprisingly passionate about the proper treatment of fish, like, he nearly decked spy once for saying betta fish just needed a fishbowl and not a whole aquarium setup

-medic has stolen at least a couple fancy pigeons from pigeon shows, mostly the ones that have been bred to an unhealthy degree to fit show standards, he spends a lot of time trying to give them the best care he can and maybe undo the effects of years of awful breeding 

-i literally dont care about sniper so he gets no headcanons

im tired

[roommateofmyimagination-blog]

Chapter 11: If i fits, i sits and it isnt where i want it to be.

✗ Adrian  ✗

“Tell me about you. What else are you into besides photography?” Val spoke eruptly like i spooked him out of a thought.

Eyeing him quickly, I leaned back and crossed my ankles together under the table. “Music and drugs.” I said while crossing my arms over my chest.

“That it?” Val raised his eyebrows at me.

“Honestly thats about it.” I rolled my head to the side, cracking my neck a bit. “Music is something I was shown when i was young. I can play the guitar and piano. My mom wanted me and my siblings to be talented in different things but never pushed us to much except music. Sis can play the violin and harp, bro can do flute and violin as well.”

“Why both violin?” val asked, leaning on the table.

Shrugging a bit, “Dunno, they both just really like it. I never liked those things, guitar was the only string i could do, Piano was something i tried really hard to learn because mom really likes it and knows a bit. I wanted to share something with her.” I felt my lips twitch into a smile because of talking about my mom.

“You close to your mother?” He asked with a small smile on his lips.

“Yeaaaaaaah.” I scratched the back of my head. “Im my mom’s kid. My siblings are just like my dad, look just like him, act like him a bit, talk like he does. Mostly my bro, hes a literal clone of my dad. Sis is a mix of dad with a feminine touch. Me, im a male version of my mom. Look just like her with my hair and eyes.” Val continued to just sit and stare at me with a stupid smile. “I pursued music as a major minor kinda deal cuz i wanna perform for her, and show the world i can sing and play instruments because she taught me, pushed me to it and is my biggest fan. Ill sing for her all time and what not.”

“Thats really sweet of you.” Val had a big smile on his face.

“Yeah.” I chuckled a bit. “The drugs were cuz…..” i slumped my shoulders down and stared at the table. “I did em just cuz i could.” I looked back up at val, “didnt wanna be that perfect kid like my siblings. Pissed me off that my father wanted to mold me to a perfect child.” I twirled my hair on my finger, “Soooo i did drugs, got in trouble a lot,....had dad save me from going to jail.” I started mumbling.

Marcus came back with our drinks with a smile and set them down on the table. “Are you both ready to order?” he looked between us, Val looked at me with a raised brow.

“Yes, please.” I answered and waited for him to pull out his notepad. “Can i get the Royal red robin. No tomato, egg hardset, and medium well please.”

“Can do sir!” Marcus wrote and turned to val with a smile.

“Can i please have the Whiskey river Burger with fries.” Val said with a smile and very sweetly.

“Alright! I’ll get that out as soon as i can.” Marcus smiled and left to place the order.

I stared at val with a confused smile. “You can eat all of that?”

“Of course!” He smiled happily.

“Damn i wonder what else you can fit in that mouth.’ I mumbled into my glass before i took a drink from it.

“Excuse me?” Val leaned in, “i didnt hear that.”

“Tell me what you seemed upset about earlier.”  I set the glass back down on the table and stared at Val who then just put his mouth around his straw and stared at his glass. “Cmon, we’re roommates….and friends, you can tell me things and i wont judge.”

Val sat silently for a while longer after he let go of his straw. He leaned back and looked up at me. “So, um...who was the guy you were with earlier?”

“Who...guy i was…..” I stared at him confused for a second then it clicked. Demyan. He means demyan. Did he go out with Karim earlier today? I Looked down at the table for a second then back to him. “That was a friend of mine, i dont get to see him often, so when i ran into him today we just had lunch together and talked.”

“Friend from high school?” He asked, little upset in his voice.

“Yeah, he goes to a different school and busy with work and school.” I started twirling my hair a bit. Val looked a bit upset by it. “Yo.” I extended my hand to poke at his arm, “whats wrong, you seem upset.”

“It just….” he sighed heavily, not looking at me or even my hand.

“I know, i come off as an asshole kinda.” I poked his arm again to make him look at me, and he did. “I dont hang out often, i dont hang out with my band members much either. Kinda a loner guy. The dude you saw me with was just a random meet up and hanging with him was something i dont do a lot.” I paused to see he was a bit hurt still, “and i know i dont hang out with you much and i come home late...a lot.”  I put my hand on his wrist gently, “But i do like hangin’ with you, and i’m gonna try and not be a shitty roommate anymore.”  

“You mean that?” Val asked quietly.

“Yeah man, i try not to break promises.” I smiled at him. Val finally smiled back at me and nodded. Slapping my hand on his neck lightly and pushing on his cheek a bit, “thats the cupcake i know.” I chuckled and took my hand off his face, “it does hurt to see you sad, you’re like a sad puppy and it breaks my heart.”

“Im not a sad puppy, im a fierce kitten!”  Val sat up straight and looked very proud of himself.

Staring at him for just a moment, i started laughing and put my forehead on my forearms which were on the table. “The fact that you said kitten makes it better. Doesnt matter what you are, you’re the cute baby version of said animal.” I spoke through giggles then started laughing even more that I covered my head with my arms.

I looked back up to see him have a very displeased look on his face. His brows were together and his cheeks were puffed as he stared at me with displeasure. I started laughing again and this time accidentally snorting, which made me start laughing even harder and Val started laughing too at the fact that i snorted. I sat back up and put my elbow on the table and put my forehead in my hand, “Shut up you didnt hear that.”

Val made a long squeal like giggle and put his head on the table, “but it was funny! You snorted!” I sat back up and leaned back into his seat. “I didnt think a snort would come out of you when laughing.” he ran his hand under his eyes as he finished up laughing.

“Im only human after all, I can snort and make weird noises if i wanna.”  I flipped my hair back over my shoulder. “So, tell me about yourself. Its only fair.”

“Okay, well…” He paused and straightened himself out, “you know I’m going for fashion and that I do yoga. I mean, clearly I’m not straight with how I dress. But, i’m not really very interesting, sorry.”

“Hm i just kinda thought you didnt care about gendered clothing.” I twirled my straw around in the glass.

“If it’s going to be hard being in the same room as me I can move into the spare room. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” Val spoke softly, I looked up to see him fidgeting with something in his lap and a blush on his cheeks.

“Dude.” I said low, Val looking up at me with wide eyes. “I dont care what your sexuality is, I support all of it. You dont make me uncomfortable. One of my band members, she’s a lesbian. Joce as you can see is straight, my drummer is straight and my bass guitar is pansexual.” I smiled at him, “I dont hate on people for gender and sexuality. I only hate if i meet a person and they are a douchpickle or are acting like a fucking buttplug. Then imma kick their ass cuz i can.”

Val started giggling because of the insults i just used. He smiled happily at me, “thanks,Adri.”

“No problem cupcake.” I smiled back at him.

Marcus came back with two plates in his hand. “Whiskey river burger.” and set the plate down in front of Val, “aaand the Royal red robin for you.” he set my plate down in front of me. “Everything look good? Can i get you anything?” he asked with a smile.

“Im good, thanks.” I looked up at him.

“No, im good too,Thank you!” Val asid with a smile.

“Awesome! I’ll check back in a bit!” he smiled and walked off to check on other people.

“He seems like a nice guy.” I turned to see Val with his burger shoved in his mouth. He still had his mouth around the burger in his hands. Staring at me like a curious cat and his cheeks puffed out a bit, blinking slowly at me. Turning my head away, closing my eyes and covering my mouth and nose i started laughing again, my free hand pounded the table as i laughed. “Cupcake, hermegawd, you’re a chipmunk!”

Val took his bite and held his hand up to me so he could chew and not talk with his mouth full of food. “I was hungry, and didnt expect you to talk!”  He blushed red and looked at me with a serious look. “And yes he seems like a nice guy and is good as a waiter.”

“I feel like ive seen him before.” I tossed a fry into my mouth, “Like he was at one of my concerts.”

“Where do you usually perform at anyways?” Val took a sip of his drink.

“Anything we can get really.” I tossed another fry in my mouth before speaking again. “We perform at bars, clubs, music fests sometimes if we can. We all do a bit of solo stuff sometimes. Well Harvey not so much, he sings yeah but hes our drummer so he doesnt solo drum places. Joce will dance or sing on her own sometimes, Desi will play guitar and sing as well. Asher i dunno if he does solo things. And i naturally perform alone sometimes because ill either just sing for who hires me, play guitar and sing, Play piano only or sing sometimes.”

“So you all arent an official band?” Val raised a brow at me as he munches on a fry.

“We are, and arent….” I stared at him with a questioning look. “We all love to perform together as a group, but sometimes we cant always meet up and do it cuz someone will have something going on. So we just do our own solo stuff sometimes.” I finally picked up my burger and took a huge ass bite out of it, kinda realizing too late that I took too much to chew.

“What all can you sing?” Val took another bite and swallowed after he chewed, “Like genre what can you sing.”

Holding up a fingering and swallowing hard,then taking a quick drink. “Lemme tell you what I cant do, cuz thats easier.” holding up one finger, “I cant do a song in a foreign language, so ill do it in english if i can.” Holding up two finger, “I dont do opera.” I continued to hold up a finger for what i listed, “Dont do metal or screamo.” I paused to think, “I dont do gospel type music. Aaaaaaaaaaaand i cant Rap...well enough to say i can do it.” I looked at my hand “So thats the five things i cant do.”

“You can do country?” Val asked with a raised brow.

“Aaaaaaaah, does it count if i can perform the song in a country style but not singing it in country format?” I asked holding my straw in my mouth.

Val giggled a bit, “no, it doesnt count.” before taking a bite of his burger.

“Damn, then six things…..No. Five point five, i think half kinda doing country counts.” I smirked at him and got a ‘really, seriously?’ look from Val. “yes im serious, i can sing a country song just not country-ish like….Dont judge me.” I pointed a finger at him before taking a bite of my burger.

Our dinner went really well and we had a lot of fun, or at least i had fun. Im guessing that all the giggles Val made means he had fun too. When Marcus came back with boxes, he asked if we wanted something for deserte. Both of us said yes. I got the Nana-nana moo-moo classic, and god i hate saying that name but its worth it, to go. Val ordered a classic chocolate to go as well. Marcus took the order and then went to go get those.

“We doing back to the dorm for the night after?” Val asked raising a brow at me.

“No, imma take you somewhere.” I smirked at him. Val looked at me with wide eyes and a slightly blush on his face,

We got our milkshakes a few minutes after. We paid, fighting back and forth who was gonna pay and ended up splitting it and both paying. When we got up, we passed by Joce and Gabe. I leaned down to give Joce a small pat on the back and waved her off with a peace sign. We saw Kane and his buddy Yori standing outside as well.

“You can get in the truck if you want, ill just take a quick smoke.” Kane had his hands up by his mouth.

“Its alright, I’ll wait.” Yori smiled at him, then turned to see us. “Oh hi again.” he still had a smile on his face.

“Wahzzup.” Kane said with his cigarette in his mouth then took an Inhale and looked away from all of us to blow it out. “Fun date?” He asked with a smile, keeping the smoke away from the three of us.

“Wasn’t a date.” I said.

“It was fun.” Val said just right after me with a smile. “You’re polite about your smoking habit.”

“Thanks buttercup! I try to be courteous to people who dont like my nasty habit. Yori here doesnt like it, and imma assume you dont like it either. Half shave here i know smokes so he doesnt mind.”

I saw Yori lean towards Val and mumble, “I don’t like it because i get asthma attacks from too heavy of a smoke cloud.”

Val smiled softly at him before patting his back, “i’m sorry.”

“Half shave?” I looked at Kane with an offended look, “the fuck you wanna fight ya blondie?” I shoved him a bit with my hand.

“Naaah, its all good.” He laughed lightly. Kane took another quick swig off his and offered me his hand before blowing it out away from us.

“Nah im good thanks, i dunno whats been in your mouth.” I held up my hand and leaned away a bit. “Not a germ freak, but i really dont know whats been in yuor mouth dude.” I chuckled lightly.

“Thankfully today, nothing that comes out of a vehicle!” he laughed proudly. “But we should let you two have fun on your Not-a-date date.” He smiled before putting his smoke in the asht ray outside, hooking his arm around Yori. “lets go finish our date too!”

“Its not a date!” Yori complained and looked back at us, “it was nice meeting you!”

“You too!” Val waved back at them.

“Hey! Come to one of my shows coming up!” I yelled back at Kane.

“Text me when and where the fuck it is, ill try to come and ill bring Yori!” He held up a peace sign and went to the other side of the parking lot.

“You come with me.” I grabbed Val by the arm and walked to my truck.

Val hopped in and got his seatbelt on, “where are we going?” he asked turning to look at me.

“You’ll see.” I smirked at him and turned the truck on, backing out of the spot and going to turn out of the lot. “Its my favorite place to be.”

“I thought that was your bed?” He snickered to himself.

“Thats my Second favorite place!” I held up my finger.

Our trip was all but quiet. Val and i, mostly me, would sing along to whatever played on the radio. Val would occasionally randomly change the station to see if i could sing the song which I fucking good. He even found the fucking country station and i sang along to that. Getting so into the song, i made us swerv on accident. Val looked like a scared cat as he held onto the Oh-shit-handle. I laughed at his reactions, and tried to stay perfectly calm when driving. We got on a backroad and Val was looking out the windows at the open fields and the trees.

“Where are we?” he asked.

“Almost there!” I smiled at him and patted his thigh. Turning onto a graveled path literally in the middle of know where. “Get out and follow me.” I patted his thigh again and got out. I waited of him on his side, holding my hand to him, “its dark and i dont want you to leave me. Gimme your hand.” Val looked at my hand and hesitantly took my hand in his. Holding his hand and dragging him behind me we walked through the dark woods. We didn’t talk at, the only noise around us was crunching leaves and the sounds of active night animals.I walked us out to a clearing when we got out of the trees and shrubbery, I looked back at him and Val was staring up at the clear sky filled with stars.

“Oh my god.” he said softly, “its beautiful here.”

“Yeah. Its also kinda in the mountains too.” I let go of his hand and walked further out. “This is a place i like to go to clear my head, singing and no one hear me, or break down if i need to.”

“Is that why its your favorite place?” Val asked, standing beside me.

“Yeah.” I leaned down and sat on the grass, pulling Val down with me. “I came here for the first time when i ran from my home. Dad was pissed at me, mom was crying, and i wanted out. Found here, and ive been coming here ever since.”

“What did you do?” He turned to face me.

“First time i was ever stoned out of my fucking mind.” I leaned forward, pressing my elbows to my knees. “Didnt wanna see my mom crying, didnt wanna know what dad would do, so ever since then, its just a place i find comfort in.”

“So why did you bring me?” Val asked, holding his feet in butterfly position.

“Thought it would be a good bonding moment.” I sighed, “thought you’d wanna see it, and it makes me feel calm for what im about to tell you.”

“Huh?” Val raised a brow and touched my arm, “something wrong?”

“No no, its just.” I sighed and laughed a bit. “I just think its kinda mean of me to keep something from you, when you’ve been so open with me.” I turned to look at Val, and he had the most confused worry look on his face. “Back at the restaurant, you came out to me.”

“Yeah.” he said low.

“Well, i tiptoed around it like an ass and didnt tell you, but Im gay too.” I smiled softly at him, “and it was eating at me that i didnt tell you when you told me, but i was scared to for some reason, like you’d think i was lying.”

Val was just staring at me like a cat. Fucking hate when he does that cuz i feel like he’s thinking im crazy or lying and it freaks me out with that stare. Val shifted onto his knees and leaned into me, wrapping his arms around my neck and pressing his chest to mine.  “Thank you for telling me, it means a lot.” he said softly and sweetly. I felt my hands twitch lightly, do i hug him back? I dont know, how to hug him without it seeming weird, hes on his knees hugging me and his back is arched and i can see his ass. Val pulled away from me slightly and i think caught onto that i was a little nervous about this situation,  “You’ve been touching my thighs one way or another, would it make you feel better if we sat here and you had a hand on my thigh?"

“Aaaah...uuuuh.” I started mumbling and blushing a bit. “i-i-i…..Yeah.” I mumbled lowl. GOD im a fucking weirdo! Why the fuck do i have this weird need to touch his damn thighs? This kid probably thinks im a freak. Val shifted back onto his butt and sat beside me, letting me place my hand on his thigh. I put my face into the palm of my hand and squeezed his thigh a bit, “Im really fucking sorry.”

“For?” He asked and i could feel him shift to lean forward and stare at me.

“This!” I squeezed his thigh and shook my hand a bit. “Ive never done this to anyone else, anditsmakingmefeellikeacreep but idonthateit.” I started to mumble and feel my face heat up more, so i tried to cover my face more with my hand.

Val’s whole body started shaking with erupted laughter. He leaned back to lay in the grass and covered his face with his laughing. I shifted to sit on my hip closest to him, shiting my hand further up his thigh a bit too high up actually and he started laughing even more, putting his hands up on my chest. “The fuck is so funny?” I asked leaning in closer to him and prop myself on my elbow.

“You’re tickling me!” he giggled, fidgeting beside me.

“How?!” I asked, “where am i tickling you?!”

“My thighs are ticklish!” He giggled louder. I looked down at my hand and slid my hand back down to where it was, sliding back up his thigh slowly and letting my nails drag across his skin, getting to close to his nether region yet again. “StaaaAAAAAHHHHP” he started laughing harder now, trying to roll away from me.

“How do you have ticklish thighs?! In one fucking spot cupcake?!” I asked, doing it yet again cuz it was kinda funny to see him squirm.

“I dont know!” He laughed and tears started to roll down his cheeks as he laughed.

I put my hands under his arms and started wiggling my fingers on his sides and up to under his arms. He erupted with more crazy laughter and started to roll around more. “You’re going to roll down a hill, cupcake!”

“Then stop tickling me!” He yelled at me through laughs.

“Naaaaah.” I swung my leg over his body and turned around to barely sit on his stomach and tickle his other thigh now. He started kicking at the air in front of me, yelling behind me and grabbing the back of my shirt. I wrapped my hands around to tickle the back of his knee and the back of his thigh. He sounded like he was crying and laughing at the same time now. Switching to his other leg i did the same thing.

“Adrian, ADRI STOOOOOAAAAAAHP PLEASE!” He cried as he laughed and was wiggling underneath me pulling at my shirt.

I looked back at him and dropped his thigh onto the grass. “Ill stop, kinda dont wanna be accused of murder.” I sat up a bit for Val to pull his legs out from under me and sit behind me.

He had his legs touching his chest and had his hands wrapped around his knees. “I feel violated and my stomach hurts now.” he puffed his cheeks at me.

“Thats what you get for being ticklish.” I smirked at him and he stuck his tongue out at me.

“Keep that tongue in your mouth, boy.” i reached to grab at his tongue but Val leaned back and avoided my hand.

He launched himself forward at me, knocking my onto my back and sitting on top of my stomach. “Im going to return what you did to me!”

“Go for it, im not ticklish.” I chuckled with a cocky smirk on my face.

“Pssh, we’ll see if thats true!” He ran his hands along my sides and under my arms and pouted when i didnt even giggle. He tried to tickle my stomach and more so was embarrassed that he touched my abs then trying to tickle me.He spun around to have his back to me and tried to get a response out of me that way. He grumbled very angerly and placed his hands on my thighs. “You aren't tickle-ish.”

“Dunno you didnt try my feet.” I chuckled from behind him.

“Im not touching your feet!” He looked back at me with puffed out cheeks.

Shifting under him and pulling my thighs out from under him enough, i sat up and partially had val sitting in my lap. Leaning into his back, i put my cheek on the back of his head. I could feel Val was kinda tense under me. Keeping my hands behind him, I leaned forward, pushing him forward a bit as well. “Thanks.”

“For?” he asked, and lightened up his body a bit.

“For hearing me out.” I played with the rim of his shirt. “Means a lot.”

“Of course.” he looked back at me and smiled.

“Now, care to get off me?” I leaned off of him.

“Nope, if i fits i sits.” He chuckled wickedly to himself and made himself comfortable.

“Oh my god, you fucking cat.” I sighed and threw my head back.

“Meow hehehehehe” He continued his evil chuckles.

“I will kick your ass down this hill and to the car.” I groaned, leaning back onto my hands.

“No you wont.” He looked back at me with a cocky smile.

“Off my lap, or you’re rolling down this hill.” I said flatly.

“Nope, or im taking you with me!” I felt Val grab onto my jeans with a tight grip.

Grumbling, i took the clip out of his hair, watching his shiny red hair fall down and lay flat on his back. He looked so nice with his hair down and it looked so soft and silky too. “Off the lap or this clip gets thrown!”

“No!” He whined, “give it back!” he turned to look back at me, whipping his hair around over his shoulder at the process. When he saw i was holding the clip behind my back, he spun around and scooted up my lap and leaned into my chest trying to reach for it behind me.

Tensing up a bit and a small twitch of a smile on my lips, “Off my lap and i give it back, or if you stay on my lap start grinding and we’ll call it even.” I looked at Val who was practically laying on me tense up and watch his face go from white to bright red.

“You’re a wicked man….” he mumbled and stared at me with a slightly pissed look but mostly embarrassed.

“Hey, if you fit you sits.” I smirked and chuckled, “said it yourself. So either fits on the grass or fits on my dick and we have a outside quickie.” I growled playfully at him, watching his face get as bright red as his hair. Val pouted and swung his leg off my body and plopped down on the grass, looking away from me. Chuckling lightly, I took his hair and tried my best to have it the way he does his hair and clip it back up for him. “Sorry that was kinda mean.”

“No this is kinda mean.” Val leaned into me again, his face close to mine like he was going to kiss me. My body tensed up but started to lean back when Val shoved his hands into my chest, Yelling loudly I grabbed onto his leg and pulled him down with me. We tumbled down the hill together, me yelling the whole way down and Val was laughing.

I hit the bottom of the hill first and Val landed ontop of my chest. His thigh hit my crotch with some force that i grunted loudly, and in minor pain but mostly a little turned on from how close he was and his thigh touching my fucking dick.

“told ya I fits I sits, or in this case I lay on top of” He chuckled and sat up, his hair falling slightly out of his clip, and his hands on each side of my face.

“And i told ya. Ass on the grass, or ass grinding my my dick that your so kindly shoving your knee into.” I looked up at him with a slightly displeased face and i could feel my face heat up.

“Oh god i am so sorry!” he looked down between us and moved his thigh.

“No you arent.” I groaned, fuck i just wanna a quickie, i need sex now.

“You’re right, Im not.” He laughed and got up standing on his feet and fixing his hair. “We should head back” he started dusting off the grass and dirt on his body.

Groaning loudly, i got up and cleaned off my ass. “We good?” I turned around to show him my back.

“Mmmmmm?” Val purred a bit.

“Ass, check? Dirt gone?” I looked back at him.

“Yeah, oh yeah we’re good.” He smirked at me.

“Your ass in the car noooow.” I snapped and pointed, pulling out my keys from my pocket.

Val giggled and jogged to the direction we came from towards the car. He stood patiently at the door for me and waiting until i unlocked it for him to hop in. I hopped into the truck soon after and clicked my seatbelt.

“You do know showing me this place means you cant run from me now.” He smiled softly.

“Maybe i want you to find me.” I said softly and put the car in reverse. Val never said anything again the whole drive until we got back to the dorm.

“Wanna watch something before bed?” Val asked as he took his shoes off and set his things down.

“Sure.” I closed the door behind me, kicking my own shoes off. “I could do something else before bed too.” I mumbled low.

“Huh?” he looked back at me.

“Nothin!” I smiled.

“Well, you set something up, im changing my clothes, these have grass stains now.” he pulled at his shirt and walked to the bedroom.

“Aight, porno it is.” I cackled and sat on the sofa.

“NO SIR IT IS NOT!” He yelled back.

Laughing lightly to myself i plopped down on the sofa and flipped through on netflix for something good to watch. “Lilo and stitch good?!” I shouted back at him as he was changing.

“Yes!” He yelled back.

Selecting that and hitting Pause i waited for Val to emerge from the bedroom. His hair was now neatly clipped up in his usual style as he wore a loose crop top and the famous shorty shorts he usually paraded around in. “how about you go get changed.”

“Aight.” I walked around him and went to the bedroom to get a change of clothes. I grabbed a pair of worn out soft sweatpants to put on after i took my jeans off and a loose tshirt that hung low on my body. Changing quickly i walked out of the bedroom to see Val coming back with two drinks in his hands. “Whats in the cups?”

“Vodka.” He said flatly. I looked down at the cups and picked one up to sniff it. Val instantly started laughing and plopped his ass on the sofa. “Im not going to get us in trouble by having vodka on campus, and being underage. I didn’t think you’d believe me.” he giggled.

“Shut up before i pour this fake vodka down your short shorts.” I groaned and sat back down on the sofa.

Val took the remote and hit play. Curling up into himself, his feet tucked up under him as he leaned on the arm of the sofa he was on.  I leaned back and put my hand behind my head and my other hand made lines up and down Val’s thighs.We didnt talk at all during the movie until i looked over and saw Val sleeping. He had slumped down in his spot and had his head resting on the arm as his knees were up at his chest. Sighing softly to myself, i turned the netflix off and got up. Picking Val up and taking him to the bedroom. I brought my foot up and pushed his covers back so i could put them over him as he slept. Setting him down on the mattress, i reached around and took his hair clip out of his hair and set it down on the nightstand by his bed. I grabbed the covers to pull them over him and let him sleep. But i looked at his very exposed thighs and had a wicked thought. Leaning down over the leg closest to me, i put my mouth on his inner thigh. Kissing softly to see if he would wake up, kid is a deep sleeper, so i dont think he’d wake up to this. Opening my mouth more, i bit some of the flesh on his thigh, sucking on it to leave a nice hickey for him to wake up to. Letting go with a slightly pop,i looked back up to see if val had woken up. Nope, kid was still sleeping soundly. Chuckling softly, i brought the covers over him to his shoulders and got off of his bed and walked out to turn all the lights off.

When i got to the living space, i turned off the lights and turned to see Aero sitting in the bedroom doorway staring at me. She just sat there with her tail swishing slowly and her head tilted. Walking up to her, i squatted down and held my hand out for her to sniff. She instantly put her face in my hand and leaned heavily into the palm of my hand. “You’re an odd kitty.” I whispered softly, and she instantly stopped rubbing her head in my hand and turned around and got onto Val’s bed with him like i just offended her. Getting off the floor i took my shirt off and tossed it on the floor beside my bed and flopped down onto my mattress.

My body still ached from my fight with Aj, and knowing tomorrow Demyan is going to make me practice with Pendragon or Takeshi. Groaning, i rolled onto my side facing away from Val. It also didnt help that i really wanted to masturbate, but being in a room with someone else kinda put me off from the idea of it, but god that Cupcake really made me wanna have sex. It’s been awhile since i had a FwB or a relationship after my last ex. Sighing heavily, i grabbed my pillow and brought it up over my head, pressing the pillow onto the side of my head. Should maybe go and try to find a fuck buddy...or ask the cupcake.

[askdurianrider]

It's a shame that you're going to ruin Tori's life. She could have had nice life, recovered from her ED, met a nice vegan boy, found a job she was passionate about. But she's met you and you're going to present her as nothing more then a body and an object, make her feel that her worth is purely based on her aesthetics,push her so hard until she burns out and then when she cracks you'll slander her and bully her into a shell of a person. We've seen it before. But it will be 10X worse with Tori.

I know you are just a troll looking for a bite but I will answer your fake sincerity based statement.

1. How can anyone ruin anyones life by helping them get fit AF, get healthy and get em on track with a career path they enjoy?

2. How can anyone ruin anyones life? Even those landmine victims in Cambodia don’t hold grudges to the person who laid the mine. They get on with their lives and stay productive or end up fucking up their own life by playing the blame game. Whenever we blame someone else for the reason we can’t enjoy life then we give our power over to someone else. I don’t know about you mate but Im in control of my thoughts and emotions. I determine my quality of life, NOBODY else.

3. You say ‘had a nice life’ as if we can predict the future or guarantee we will be alive for the next hour? Any of us could die at any minute mate. If you care about Tori so much then why don’t you put the effort into her that I have? Thats right mr troll, you couldnt give a flying fuck about anyone but yourself. When you pretend to care it is just so you can throw shade at a situation that involves someone you are jealous of.

4. ‘Present her as a body’ etc. What female doesnt put their aesthetic value as their highest priority? What planet do you live on mate? My issue is when people take things to the extreme and start starving themselves, doing drugs or botox etc to look a certain way. That aint healthy. Showing off a fit healthy body is normal and natural in my reality mate. It inspires other women to eat and live healthier. 

5. “Push her till she burns out’. NOBODY has ever burned out or ever will if Im coaching them. I don’t even have light bulbs or a sofa at my place. No chairs. You either lay down and rest or you are riding your bike. Every ride I monitor via wattages to ensure no elevated TSS values are sustained. You don’t even have a clue how to get yourself fit mate who what gives you the credentials to critique me? 

6. Tori isnt like FL and co. She isnt the slander type. Ive never slandered anyone in my life. Not only is it illegal, it is also against my personal values. I only speak facts my friend. 

7. Slander? Toby took me to supreme court last year for me claiming he was on anabolic steroids.(I never even said he was on them, I just laughed about him claiming natty status. I told him via instagram message that I knew he was though and could prove it at trial. (Adelaide gym scene is a small small place). He dropped the case a few hours later and was recently busted with illegal steroids and charged for possession of them. He faces court again in a few weeks. 

Slander is the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation. I was just stating the facts and it got blown out way more than it needed too. Now the local media is reminding people that he took me to court about the steroids claim. They are having a field day with it. Its part of gym culture to use anabolic steroids and do them longterm. If you don’t you simply CANT build much muscle and if you are honest about it then people will make fun of you or sponsors will drop you. I understood why Toby lied but many say I was slandering him. I wasnt, I was just stating the obvious and with no malice. Malice is when you single someone out but let others who are doing the same thing get away with it. Ive been calling out fake natties for ever man!

Ive NEVER slandered Freelee. I just spoke the truth. 

*She did botox for years when I was with her and lied to my face about it.

*She did chronic ground work with robin whilst we were still together and lied to my face about it. She said they were ‘just online chat buddies!’. 

* FL used to kick, knee, scratch and punch me a lot. She always started it and it was mostly when I would reply back to a female viewer about a cycling or health question or if I didnt want to delete someone in my vlog.

*She did say one of the last times I spoke with her that she prayed someone would run me over on my bike and kill me. She said ‘I know Ive said that before and I didnt really mean it but this time I mean it with all my heart that someone runs you over and you die’.

*She blocked me from my own forum and cut my ebook sales from about 10 copies a day to about 1 copy a day. I made 30BaD the most active vegan forum on the planet I posted almost every day for almost 9 years. FL hadnt posted their for the 18 months prior to deleting me.

*FL still owes me $5000 that she promised to pay me over and over.

I could go on and on but its getting boring and my lawyers are onto it. If Ive slandered FL then she should take me to court like Im taking her vs run from Australia to avoid legal action.

What you have done mate is slander me. You are the ultimate hypocrite. The primary motivation to slander someone is you see that person as competition or you are jealous of them. Im not jealous of anyone and for me the word competition means competere which means ‘strive together’. Google it sometime mate.

That is why you slander behind a fake profile mate so nobody can sue you. 

[writingguide003-blog]

Critics assemble: our writers pick their favorite superhero films

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Critics assemble: our writers pick their favorite superhero films

Batman v Superman v Captain America v all of the X-Men. Which cape-wearing, civilian-saving adventures are worth cheering?

Given the repetitive influx of superhero films in recent years, youd be forgiven for wanting very little to do with anything involving a cape, a mask and a post-credits teaser for a long time. But wait, the R-rated Wolverine sequel Logan hits cinemas this week and critics agree that its worth getting over yourself for.

Many are saying it will join the ranks of the all-time greats but what else should be on this list? Here are seven of the best from Guardian writers.

The Incredibles

Photograph: HO/Reuters

Was 2004 the superheroes annus mirabilis? That was when Marvel Studios initiated its ambitious plan to self-finance its movies, buy back the rights to characters such as Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk, and begin the 21st-century wave of superhero films, hugely popular with the public, but often patronised and dismissed the way westerns used to be.

But something else happened in 2004: the release of Pixars glorious animated superhero homage The Incredibles. Thats a film which doesnt fit easily into the superhero fanbase-constituency, and is part of neither the Marvel nor DC tribe (unless you count the fact that Pixar, like Marvel, is part of Disney). And Im conscious that in calling it a homage I may even now be denying it full superhero-film status. But a brilliant superhero film is what it is riffing on the X-Men and Fantastic Four with superb characters, a great supervillain, a terrific story and a sharp satiric theme on the subject of excellence, and the nature of risk, jeopardy and the state.

Mr Incredible (voiced by Craig T Nelson) is a lantern-jawed, barrel-chested superhero who plies his trade in the 1940s, the superheroes postwar first-generation comic book heyday. He is fighting alongside his fiancee, Elastigirl (Holly Hunter). When a member of the public sues him for preventing his suicide, it triggers a legal nightmare forcing the government to outlaw superheroism and to relocate supers to other cities with new identities and bland normality. Twenty years later, he and Elastigirl have suburban lives and he works in insurance a nightmarish perversion of his former calling. They have two kids whose superpowers they have to conceal at school. But then a new villain emerges with a secret connection to the Incredibles past, forcing them to reclaim their vocation and their destiny.

It is rightly celebrated for the superhero costumire, Edna Mode, voiced by the director and writer, Brad Bird, who thinks that capes are a bad idea and is passionately committed to her contemporary vision: I never look back, darling; it distracts from the now. There is a wonderful passage on the phenomenon of supervillains monologuing huge third-act set-piece speeches in which the villains talk about themselves and their awful vision.

Actually, in 2017, the non-talky streamlined all-action superhero film is pretty much against both capes and monologuing and also against Edna Modes injunction against looking back. Superhero films love origin myths, elaborate retro sequences from the past and all-around ancestor worship.

But as it happens, and incredible as it may sound, The Incredibles has a brilliant action sequence, as exciting as anything in any live-action superhero film or action film. Elastigirl and the two kids are flying in their plane to an island from which the errant Mr Incredible has sent a distress signal. Then she is attacked by rockets. The subsequent chase scene and midair explosion are absolutely nail-biting.

It is witty, smart, visually ravishing, and its generic insights are celebratory, not derisive. What a great superhero film. PB

Batman

Photograph: Allstar/Warner Bros/Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar

I have to be honest: I am not the worlds biggest superhero movie fan. Put another way, when they took off in the late 80s, I thought they were a fad that would blow over in a few years; more fool me. In fact, the elevation to ever-prolonging ubiquity is one of the great mysteries of contemporary cinema: how this genre, that for years was considered only good for doltish teens, and treated with equivalent lack of respect, has steadily evolved into the mainstay of the global film industry. Be that as it may, I prefer the funny, candy-coloured type of superhero movie (Spider-Man, Thor, Deadpool) rather than the furrowed-brow earnestathons (Batman Begins, Captain America, Man of Steel) Ive never seen a superhero movie weighty or nuanced enough to justify the heavy-duty treatment.

But as films as opposed to moving comic-books superhero movies tend to fall down pretty hard. There are great sequences, brilliant set pieces, very nice shots but they rarely hold together, still less allowing actual narrative subtlety to intrude on the scene-shifting. The first and still, by my reckoning, only time that a superhero movie seemed way ahead of everything else was the first Tim Burton Batman, from 1989. A tour de force of design, cinematography, and cinematic texture, it was light years ahead of (the nevertheless highly enjoyable) Superman films that had blazed the superhero trail in the 1970s and 80s. Burtons brilliance was to make everything else look redundant and in many ways, nothing has changed since. AP

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Photograph: Moviestore/Rex

Heres a conspiracy theory: someone at the Academy purposefully shuffled those envelopes to detract from the much bigger scandal earlier in the evening: the snubbing of Garry Shandling in this years Oscars In Memoriam montage. I hope my choice of the Marvel movie in which he cameos as a sinister Hydra disciple will go some way to righting this wrong.

Shandlings 15-second appearance in this sequel to the first film featuring the weed who becomes the most fantastic hunk is one of my chief reasons for picking it; the other is its literally the only superhero movie I can ever really remember enjoying.

This is obviously a personal deficit, but perhaps it is, actually, a better superhero movie than most? There are terrific action sequences, for a start: that initial heist, fuelled with sexual tension between the Cap and the Black Widow, plus the most wonderful punch-up in a lift. Plus, vegetables to accompany all that meat and beef: a properly thought-provoking investigation of the morals of surveillance and the ethics of vigilantism in a democratically accountable society.

But perhaps what really clinched it for me as an Avengers movie I could get along with was the relative dearth of Robert Downey Jr. The more you can minimise this man, the more I shall like any movie. CS

Thor: The Dark World

Photograph: Allstar/Marvel Studios/Sportsphoto Ltd/Allstar

Many are hailing Logan for stretching the boundaries of what a superhero movie can be. Its dramatic, fervid, and realistic in its violence. But lets not do away with whats core to comics culture: deep, dank nerdery that ought not be allowed to see daylight.

I love comic books rich in lore and steeped in mythos, swirling in and out of realms with names impossible to spell. Thor: The Dark World stuffs two handfuls of delicious dorkiness into its maw, one rich in fantasy, the other in science fiction. Is the Asgardian bio-bed a quantum field generator or a Soul Forge? The answer, of course, is that it is both.

Thor: The Dark World has portals and Kronan Rock Men and invisible spaceships and a ray that can curl you up into a singularity and zap you into another dimension. A liquid totem called the Aether is almost in Malekith the Dark Elfs nefarious grasp, just in time for the quinquennial cosmic event known as the Convergence. Oh, God, I need to stop typing and grab my asthma inhaler, this sort of talk gets me all worked up.

In the middle of all this, theres the bickering romance between the sharp and sweet doctor played by Natalie Portman and her hunky blonde blue-eyed spaceman, Thor. When they reunite during a battle, the first thing she does is yell at him for never calling. When they visit Thors realm, Dr Foster quickly bonds with Thors mother. They may as well be eating intergalactic coffee cake. And there are still some who say mixed marriages cant work?!?

Thor: The Dark World is a rush of Absolute Comics mainlined direct to my amygdala, with a profound purity that few other modern superhero movies allow themselves. It is Worthy. JH

The Dark Knight

Photograph: Allstar/Warner Bros

While Batman Begins was a refreshingly coherent, mature and dark-hued film about the Caped Crusader (a relief after the eye-punishing gaudy excess of Batman & Robin), it was far from a masterpiece.

There was a major villain problem (a somewhat gimmicky last act switcheroo that didnt quite have the required impact) and a major Katie Holmes problem (needs no explanation) and as a result, it was a promising franchise-restarter but not the home run we might have hoped for. Three years later, Christopher Nolan returned, lessons learned and homework done, with a sequel that rose far above its generic peers and, despite the creation of the hero-packed DC and Marvel universes since, it easily remains unsurpassed.

The Dark Knight moves like a fiendish thriller, one that confidently pushes the boundaries of the superhero genre in a way that comic book fans may be familiar with but which for cinema-goers such as myself was a revelation. Its a breathtakingly brutal film, packed with staggering PG-13 violence and a bleak worldview thats unrelenting, grounding fantastical characters and situations in a world that, for once, is depressingly easy to relate to.

That villain problem? Easily fixed. The casting of Heath Ledger in the role of the Joker might have been initially unpopular with fans, who couldnt envision his leading man looks buried under cartoonish makeup, but his performance was dynamite, an Oscar-winning fireball of anger and anarchy. That Katie Holmes problem? Replaced. Maggie Gyllenhaal added depth and a genuine emotional connection which led to the shocking finale carrying even greater weight. Its one of the rare examples of a superhero film where each devastating act of violence or aggression has a lasting impact. In Nolans Gotham City, life and death both mean something.

It might be to blame for the dreary drudgery thats bogged down many ensuing superhero adventures but it remains a ruthlessly entertaining example of just how daring and necessary the genre can be. BL

Watchmen

Photograph: Clay Enos/Photo by Clay Enos

It may be difficult to credit given Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice recently picked up a gaggle of Razzies, but Zack Snyder was once seen as the coming man of comic book movies. His 2009 adaptation of Alan Moores sprawling graphic novel about an alternative 1980s in which Nixon remains in power and superheroes are real remains a high point of the film-makers career and proof that given a decent script, he is capable of producing eye-popping cinema beyond that of most his contemporaries.

The bravura opening montage, set to the strains of Bob Dylans The Times They Are A Changin, is unequalled in comic book movies. The casting is impeccable: Jackie Earl Haley has never been better than as the hardboiled, morally immovable vigilante Rorschach, a gurning, spitting man out of time whose psychological torment is written on his face whether wearing that famous mask or not. Patrick Wilson is wonderfully understated as the taciturn Nite Owl, a superhero who looks like an accountant with middle-aged spread, while Jeffrey Dean Morgan is perfect as the leering, sneering, cigar-smoking alpha male scumbag the Comedian, a role which surely won him the part of the villain Negan in The Walking Dead.

Naysayers argue that Watchmen is too close to its source material, bar a sensibly altered denouement. But Moores story is so epic in scale and splendid in its unexpectedly detailed rendering of the inner psyches of costumed crimefighters that Snyder was really only required to add visual flare. If there is a Citizen Kane of superhero movies, this is indisputably it. BC

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Photograph: Allstar/20th Century Fox

The best thing about this time traveling entry into the vast annals of X-Men history is the absolute disregard Bryan Singer had for newcomers. If you hadnt been paying attention to his line of mutant entertainment over the last decade or so, youd feel a bit like Kyle Reese being spat out into 1984 with no clothes and no idea what was happening. That slightly manic pace, which feels like its borrowed from a daytime soap opera, plus the period costume and references to Vietnam, Nixon and the height of 70s cold war paranoia made this a strangely daring superhero film.

Instead of something that tried to set out the basic idea of what the X-Men were and what they were all about a concept most grandmothers could probably grasp by now this just got straight into the internal machinations of a group that makes the EU look harmonious. Of course, the old themes of good and evil doing battle, and overcoming personal demons (in this case addiction for Professor X) are there, but it was delivered in a knowingly strange way. You could even argue the hectic feel and funny but slightly smug lines set the stage for the least superhero-y superhero of them all, Deadpool. Singer knew fans were au fait with the concept of time travel, and would love to see Magneto and Professor X as their younger selves, so he threw it all into a blender and Days of Future Past came out like a perfectly mixed bit of superhero bechamel. LB

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us